Chocolate
by the ninja omelet
Summary: Oh, the wonders of chocolate.


A/N: I need to start writing humor again.

Disclaimer: I TOTALLY own Kingdom hearts. Just kidding.

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"Unhand the chocolate and nobody gets hurt."

"I DON'T WANNA GET HURT!"

"He didn't mean you, you twinkie."

"Oh."

Two fighters stood face to face, one holding a chocolate bar dangerously close to her mouth and the other attempting to retrieve it from her. Two other girls were watching the intense battle.

Squall and Yuffie were the two fighters fighting over the chocolate.

Stringy and Emi were the ones watching them fight over it.

Yuffie moved the chocolate closer to her mouth.

Squall glared, as if trying to burn her hand to make the chocolate drop.

Emi observed the fight closely.

Stringy yawned. "Just kiss and share the damn chocolate bar."

"No, and I'm going to ignore that first suggestion." Squall said, eyes still on the chocolate.

Then suddenly, EMI COMES OUT OF NOWHERE AND TAKES A BITE OUT THE CHOCOLATE!

"MY CHOCOLATE!" Squall and Yuffie cried, observing the damage. Emi grinned with a mouth full of chocolate. She walked over, plucked it out of their hands and ate the rest as they mourned over the chocolate. Stringy laughed.

"Look what I got." Stringy said smirking, holding up three chocolate bars labeled "Special." The three crawled over to the dangling chocolates, wide eyed. Stringy laughed maniacally as they begged for the chocolate like dogs.

As she was doing that, Cloud walked by the room they were occupying and saw Squall.

On his knees.

Begging for chocolate.

From a **_fangirl_**.

Then he heard some screams from a closet. But he ignored that.

His jaw dropped. He ran into the room and grabbed Squall by the shoulders.

"SQUALL! SPEAK TO ME!"

Squall merely replied, "Chocolate.."

"YOU'RE ON YOUR KNEES, BEGGING FOR CHOCOLATE FROM A **_FANGIRL_**!"

Oh, it's those screams again.

"Chocolate." He said again.

Cloud slowly let go of him and stood. "I-I've lost him."

Then he left the room, to tell Aerith to get a coffin ready.

Stringy watched him go, still holding the chocolates. "What a drama queen."

After a few hours of torture, Stringy eventually threw the chocolates out the window and watched the three jump out the window after their beloved chocolate. As Stringy stood on the balcony watching them devour the chocolate, her cousin, Kel, walked in.

"Why is the rum gone?" Kel asked.

"What rum?" Stringy asked absently, watching Emi and Yuffie attack Squall for more chocolate.

"The rum that was put in some chocolates I got from Aerith."

"Why would you put rum in chocolate?" Stringy asked slowly, hoping that the ones she had were not the ones Kel was talking about.

"Because one, Aerith's chocolate needs rum and rum is good with chocolate."

"Makes sense. What do the chocolates look like?"

"They were labeled, "Special.""

"I THOUGHT THAT MEANT SPECIAL DARK OR SOMETHING!" Stringy cried, watching as Squall, Yuffie and Emi walk around in circles drunkenly.

"THE HERSHEY'S COMPANY IS LONG GONE, DEAR COUSIN!" Kel shouted, whacking Stringy's voodoo doll in the head. Kel looked over Stringy's shoulder, spotting her friends, not acting very sober. "You gave the chocolates to them, huh?"

"IT WAS AN ACCIDENT!" Stringy protested.

Kel quietly took out a surgical knife and began "operating" on Stringy's voodoo doll.

After a few minutes of torture for Stringy, Kel decided to stop before she was arrested for torture of family members.

"Stringy, you have to make sure they don't do anything stupid."

Stringy stared at her.

"Okay, you have to make sure NO ONE and I mean, NO ONE knows about the rum."

Stringy nodded.

"Because if someone finds out, this world will explode."

"Wait," Stringy interrupted, "Are you saying that if someone finds out that I have rum and accidentally got my friends drunk, this world will explode in like, I don't know, one hour?"

Kel rolled her eyes. "Yes. If someone finds out we have rum and got our friends drunk, this world will explode in an hour."

"How?"

"The Kraken will eat us because I stole it from Davy Jones." Kel whispered.

"WHAT! AND YOU CALL ME THE STUPID ONE!" Stringy shouted in her ear.

"Well, Jack's rum was all gone so I had to get some from him! Remember, don't tell or else Davy Jones will reserve a spot for us in his locker."

"Ewww…"

"And he never washes his clothes."

"I will not tell anyone." Stringy said, saluting.

"You'd better not, I'll know, because then I'll see this huge squid thing destroying everything." With that, Kel left Stringy to take care of her friends.

Stringy looked down the balcony and saw that her friends had fallen asleep.

"I'm so screwed."

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A/N: Humor is good for the soul.

Unless it's bad humor.

Please review if you can.


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